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cooliogirl101:

warriorlid14:

fivenamereveals:

warriorlid14:

lytefoot:

nanse-but-personal:

I know it don’t work like that but shhhhhhh, hear me out

Harry Potter AU where they put fidelius charm on Harry himself. Because voldy can’t kill him if he can’t figure out that our boi exists

(I know the charm doesn’t work this way, too, but let’s pretend it did.)

Okay, the thing I love most about this is that this renders Harry incapable of introducing himself. (Unless they transfer the secret to him when he’s old enough, but that kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it.) Also renders the press entirely unable to locate him.

It’s like, Person: “Who are you?”

Harry: says something.

Person: I am certain I heard that, but I no longer remember… but asking again would be Rude, so I will 100% pretend to know this person’s name forever.

I mean, like.

Peak comedy.

Omfg. And Ron and Harry are still best friends, but like. Ron is nervous and isn’t going to ask this kid he just met to repeat his name because that’s lame and awkward, and it’s bound to come up in conversation anyway, right? But then it doesn’t. And so Ron constantly calls him “mate” or comes up with a bajillion different nicknames because they’re Best Friends and are Affectionate, NOT because he doesn’t know his best friend’s name.

And old Voldy has this weird urge to kill someone. Who, you may ask? Someone.

Also, Harry starts calling himself He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named and You-Don’t-Know-Who.

It got better.

Reblogging for “You-Don’t-Know-Who”
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blvnk-art:

Because it doesn’t matter if he’s a pureblood, a Malfoy, Draco’s son… all babies do weird stuffs and like bedtime stories.

(Instagram [profile] potterbyblvnk)
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smartass-stripper:

raedainfossaest:

18 year old Regulus Black willingly drinks a torture potion and dies alone in a cave so that some day, someone will be able to defeat Voldemort.

Horace Slughorn (albeit reluctantly) shows Harry a part of his past he’s kept hidden for years, even from himself, which is a key part of defeating Voldemort.

Narcissa Malfoy looks Voldemort, a man who is not only notoriously evil but also has the ability to READ MINDS, right in the eye and lies to him for the chance to save her son.

Andromeda Tonks’ entire family is killed at the hand of her own sister and some other death eaters and she still finds the strength to go on and be a guardian to her orphaned grandchild.

But Severus Friendzone Snape, that’s the “brave Slytherin” Harry chooses to name his kid after. Ok, sure.

Raise a glass for Slytherin heroes
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merriamlloydwebster:

can u imagine being a scottish hogwarts student & having to go down to london only to sit on a train for hours and then be like a can see my hoose fae the fucking train ya entitled english cunts

As someone from Edinburgh, this has ALWAYS bugged me. Poor muggleborns, having to get the train down from Edinburgh for 5 hours or whatever, JUST to get back on a train and go straight back up north. 
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susiephone:

athenavine:

colorfuloddity:

dajo42:

a muggleborn student coming to hogwarts with a thermos flask and filling it with tea in the morning so it stays hot all day and their pureblood friends are like “whoa what spell did you use for that” and they’re like “?????? it’s just a thermos???” and all the pureblood students start pointing their wands at cups and saying “THERMOS”

THERMOS

plot twist: it works, mugs suddenly start keeping tea at the perfect temperature for the caster all day. students in muggle studies start experimenting with other muggle jargon and a new generation of magic spells are born, propelling the stagnated wizard community into the technological age

*points wand at book* KINDLE!!!! *book propels itself into fireplace and bursts into flames* I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP
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ibuzoo:

Hogwarts Moodboards - Ravenclaw
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unsahikable:

literally how hard would it have been for jkr to say something like “listen I was writing it in the 90s, I was inexperienced, I was writing from my own point of view, I didn’t realise how underrepresented a lot of people are, I wasn’t thinking about anything other than the plot, I accept that it’s a little sparse on the diversity front, I can try to be more self aware with my future works” etc etc instead of.. this nonsense
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Photo

Dec. 24th, 2018 01:09 pm
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deadcatwithaflamethrower:

starofthemourning:

midnightfuckingmayor:

I’m a total sucker for fics where Harry is dark and gets sorted into Slytherin, but I’m also really disappointed with how Ron and Hermione are treated in them

So: dark au where the trio is sorted into Slytherin

Hermione, who wants to use knowledge to change the world

Ron, who wants to finally be free of his family’s shadow

Harry, who wants to be great, to be admired, to be free

The teachers adore quick, clever Granger, but Severus worries when he sees the way she eyes the restricted section, how her mind is filled with deadly recipes and the ways to use them

The purebloods learn not to badmouth the halfbloods, not to bully the muggleborns, because Hermione knows forbidden magic, Hermione knows the untraceable poisons and the painful curses-and Hermione knows how to avoid being caught

No one outside of Slytherin pays attention to Ronald Weasley, so quiet compared to his brothers, and that’s a mistake

Ron casts his first dark spell and the power takes his breath away, Ron sinks into the comfort of blood rituals and makes outlawed sacrifices to forgotten gods

Ron wonders how his family could abandon this happiness in favor of a flickering light

Harry, the chosen one, the special one, the abandoned one

Harry looks at the light, looks at the people that did nothing for him, and dives into the dark

Lockhart dies drinking poison, Snape finds the trio huddled around Peter’s body, the aurors that find Umbridge’s remains vomit, and the Wizarding World doesn’t notice

Voldemort rises and does not face an old man and a group of do gooders

Voldemort rises and faces a witch with a brilliant mind and no taste for mercy, a wizard that delights in bloodshed and manipulates people like he moves chess pieces, and the broken, bloody boy that’s won their loyalty

Voldemort falls

@deadcatwithaflamethrower idk if you would like this or not….

Man, Wizarding Britain thought Voldemort was a threat.

When the trio stand up and Voldemort falls, suddenly Voldemort looks like a decent bloke.
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ladywonderlands:

“Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year.”
Happy first day of the Autumn/Fall!
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vcbx5:

kyraneko:

themiscyra1983:

kyraneko:

missif-15fandoms:

actual-ironman-tonystark:

marisatomay:

actual-ironman-tonystark:

shakspaere:

alrightanakin:

Every Adult In “Harry Potter” Let Us Down At Some Point And That’s Important a 900 page dissertation by me

And that includes Joanne Kathleen Rowling a tear stained afterword by me

Hagrid Is The Exception a rebuttal by me

The Time Hagrid Told Voldemort How to Take Out Something Protecting an Object that Grants Immortality When He Was Drunk and Other Well-Meaning Fuck Ups a lengthy chapter

You’re Absolutely Right a retraction

How dare you assume Molly Weasley has done anything wrong ever

That Time Molly Yelled At The Twins And Ron For Saving Harry From Abuse And Starvation, Thus Likely Communicating To The Abused Kid In Her Presence That His Welfare Was Less Important Than Not Borrowing The Car, That Time Molly Was Utterly Condescending About How Harry Is A Child And Doesn’t Deserve To Know Anything In A Way That Probably Heightened His Determination To Prove Otherwise, That Time Molly Said The Twins Put Together Aren’t As Good As Any Of Their Brothers Over OWL Results That They Worked Hard On And Were Proud Of, That Time Molly Forcibly Cut Her Adult Son’s Hair Right Before His Wedding, That Time Molly Spent A Year Being Mean And Rejectful Toward Her Son’s Fiancee, That Time Molly Sent Hermione A Deliberate “Fuck You” Present For Easter Because She Believed A False Story Written In Witch Weekly Without Making Any Attempt To Ask The People Actually Involved, Those Times She Made Her Youngest Son’s Christmas Sweaters His Least Favorite Color, And Every Time She Belittled Her Husband’s Hobby, The Twins’ Interests, And Bill’s Appearance Because She Couldn’t Be Bothered To Understand Or Value Or Even Be Kind About Them a detailed reminder that no one’s perfect and sometimes what one person doesn’t mind or see hits another person hard

Florean Fortescue Just Wanted To Sell Some Ice Cream And Help Harry With His Homework He Is The Only Adult Who Didn’t Mess Up Until Getting Killed By Voldemort, RIP an increasingly strident addendum by me

OK You’re Absolutely Right Florean Fortescue Was In Fact Perfect As Far As I’m Aware a concession by me

omg
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copperbadge:

curiouselfqueen:

chiihun:

inspired by copperbadge’s Stealing Harryverse fic i finished a few weeks back ~ i lovvvvvveeedddd the scene where sirius asked remus to have a portrait painted with him(iДi)so i attempted something before i exploded from feels *rolls*

@copperbadge - wanted to make sure you see this.  because it’s pretty great.

This is gorgeous, thank you for tagging me in it, and thank you @chiihun for the wonderful artwork! 

I’d love to include it in the fic on AO3 if I can have permission – you’ll get credit of course and I’ll link back to the original post of the art. 
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but-how-can-falcon:

fandomsandfeminism:

Spoiler: Harry Potter was bisexual the whole time

It just didn’t say because Harry is very unobservant.

Dude, not even. Someone did a tally of how many times Harry comments on the attractiveness of a male character (Tom Riddle and Cedric mostly) vs. Ginny or Cho, his purported love interests. It’s not even close. He’s very observant. I’ll put money on “Harry grew up in a bigoted household and legit doesn’t have vocabulary for what his emotions keep doing when he sees pretty boys.”
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becauseforoncethisisme:

rockn-roll-cat:

pynki:

jabletown:

turtletotem:

jabletown:

turtletotem:

jabletown:

ngl one of the main reasons i ship romione is because hermione got a cat that is the cat version of ron

…you just blew my entire mind

BIG, GINGER, GRUMPY, AND A LITTLE VIOLENT who am i talking about ron or crookshanks you don’t know

My mind keeps also drawing comparisons between Ron the Consistently Underappreciated with his overachieving brothers, and Crookshanks who languished at the pet store watching the cuter kittens get adopted…

This also makes Ron’s dislike of Crookshanks pretty hilarious

THAT IS ABSOLUTELY THE CRUX OF MY CROOKSHANKS IS THE CAT VERSION OF RON PHILOSOPHY. Fucking of course he hates that cat because he is that cat and he is Ron fucking Weasley. If Ron Weasley had a double that double would be better than him and he’d hate him too.

And of course Hermione has a soft spot for the most disagreeable, underdog cat in the world.

Befrends a lonly black haired dog who had spent years neglected and locked away. 

That addition hurts my fucking heart

FUCK
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provocative-envy:

charlie weasley was presumably like 17 or 18 years old when he decided to move to a totally different country so he could hang out with a bunch of fire breathing death lizards EVEN THOUGH playing professional sportball closer to home was apparently a thing that was on the table for him and i know everyone likes to romanticize that and talk about how much he must have Really Loved those fire breathing death lizards but i can’t help but feel like that whole situation (especially in the context of bill ALSO running off to go travel the world on dangerously shady code breaking treasure hunts or whatever) was more of an indictment of how toxic all those Big Brother expectations could be and clearly WERE when you look at how they also influenced ron’s perception of himself relative to everyone else

like charlie obviously loved his family

but 

from a distance, you know
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ravenclaw-headcanons:

mildswearingat4am:

kvothbloodless:

bumblebeebats:

It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus does– you Dumb Ass Bastard. You ILLITERATE. It’s called Levicorpus, it lifts someone’s body, it LEVIES your goddamn CORPUS-

Hermione ghost wrote this

Counterpoint: Hogwarts actively discourages students from taking Latin or Greek because if they knew either one every single magic twelve year old would be trying to mash up twenty words and make their own Ultimate Spell instead of using the Good Standardized Spells Known Not To Explode Magic Schools 

I have a feeling that last point is aimed at the ravenclaws…
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magic-owl:

roachpatrol:

yourfictionmyreality:

yisaldifferentfromotherknights:

stavvers:

I’ve just come to the realisation that Hermione Granger probably memory charmed her parents and packed them off to Australia long before she told Harry and Ron she’d done it at the beginning of Deathly Hallows.

She literally never goes home from Goblet of Fire onwards, spending her summers with the boys instead. In GoF she’s remarkably blase about her teeth, something her dentist parents would have noticed and felt hurt about. 

If I were to guess, I’d say she probably did it after the wizarding world cup when she’d seen exactly how the wizarding world treats muggles and decided not to let that happen to her folks. Hermione knows which way the wind is blowing and gets in early. She’d be more than capable of doing it. 

…Oh my God.

hermione is fucking ruthless and i will fight anyone who tells me otherwise

that was her “negative” gryffindor trait

was she incredibly brave and courageous and loyal? yes

but she was also vicious and violent and trapped a woman as a beetle in a jar for over a year because she pissed her off

hermione granger looked at the world, and looked at her magic, and looked at everyone else’s magic, and seemed to come to the conclusion that reality had better shut the fuck up and behave itself or she’d make it. 

of all the kids, i think she’s dumbledore’s successor, not harry. 

See this is why I don’t like it when people try and pass her off as this flawless pure sweet angel. Like no, she’s emotional, loud, angry, brash, and vindictive, and she’s absolutely awesome just like that. Don’t woobify her.
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blvnk-art:

“The letter was an incredible treasure, proof that Lily Potter had lived, really lived, that her warm hand had once moved across the parchment, tracing ink into these letters, these words, words about him, Harry, her son.

Impatiently brushing away the wetness in his eyes, he reread the letter, this time concentrating on the meaning. It was like listening to a half-remembered voice…” 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 10.

[instagram @potterbyblvnk]
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blvnk-art:

Auror H. Potter
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