athousanderrors

via http://ift.tt/2pSlGDX:
fandomfeministe:

mercurygray:

calamity-bean:

calamity-bean:

So I decided to run some TURN boys through that romance-novelly “What Does Your Hero Smell Like” generator and I am FURIOUS, BECAUSE:

You were so close, generator. Just … just reverse them! Just switch these two around!! How could you be so right, and yet so very, very wrong?

I mean, Caleb is canonically both a whaler and a compost heap, and Hewlett — seriously. Hewlett. My Scottish desk-jockey prince. I don’t know what this site intends Scotland to smell like — when I was there, it rained a lot, so my primary scent memory is of wet sheep — but I’m sure it’s something lovely, like blooming heather and 18th-century Enlightenment discourse. The only combination that could have been more appropriate for my darling would be heartbreak and dead horse.

Anyway, I ran the rest of the guys through, too, and let’s just say that things did not improve from there.

Keep reading

I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO DO BENEDICT ARNOLD.

I CAN’T STAND HIM, SO HOPEFULLY HE’LL GET SOMETHING REALLY—

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IT GOT BETTER.

Oh I dunno, I like to think that Benny boy smells of prowess.
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