Sep. 10th, 2017

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accio-shitpost:

there’s a portrait of cedric diggory in the hufflepuff common room.

nobody knows who painted it. the other houses speculate, but the hufflepuffs know not to ask, because that’s not really what’s important.

it’s one of the moving ones, of course. sometimes cedric isn’t in it - it’s said that the portrait has a twin, over amos diggory’s fireplace, and cedric always loved his father. but he’s there enough, smiling down at the hufflepuffs who congregate in the common room, watching them as they go about their lives.

the portrait is by the door, next to one of the overstuffed yellow chairs. students sit there to talk to cedric, with some modicum of privacy. at first, it was his friends, the people who knew him and miss him and love him. but as time went on it became those who knew him by reputation. kids seeking advice, help with homework. someone to talk to, on a long and cold night. gradually, he became a legend, spoke in hushed whispers to the first-years as they came in. if you’re ever in trouble, talk to cedric. he’ll always help you.

after the battle of hogwarts, when the furniture was mended and the new students hesitantly made their way in, there was another portrait next to it, of hufflepuff’s favoured daughter. tonks, known by one name only, blew painted bubbles from her world of acrylic and canvas. while students came to cedric for help and advice, they came to tonks to ask questions. she would tell the most wicked stories, and some of them were even true. when someone needed cheering up, when they were wanting to brainstorm their next epic prank, they went to tonks.

she wasn’t always there, either. another portrait above a cot, where a baby with shocking blue hair could look at it and laugh. but when she was, she was always happy to have people come to her. when they did, it felt like she wasn’t just paint and canvas. she felt alive.

hufflepuffs look after their own, you see. dead or alive.
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petimetrek:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox:

dogpawsswapgod:

major character is shot w weird space gun that steals his lungs: doctor devises a set of holographic lungs to keep him alive until adequate replacements can be found

minor character gets stabbed once in the back w a regular old knife not 50 meters from sickbay: dies instantly. bashir scans him w a tricorder and shakes his head solemnly. there’s nothing he can do.

major character suffers traumatic brain injury, rendering him comatose and just days from death: doctor grows a genetic clone from a gob of alien goo and harvests neurological tissue at just the right time (not w/o its moral dilemmas)

tasha yar zapped by a tar pit: beverly crusher  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

QUANTUM TORPEDOES FIRED

Someone steals Spock’s brain: Mccoy turns him into a weird remote control robot. They find the brain and replace it. Bowl cut remains intact.

Red shirt dies: He’s dead Jim.
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therecklessandthegays:

probablyadrpgideas:

probablyhalfbakedrpgideas:

probablyberserkrpgideas:

definitelygnomerpgideas:

cardigan-punk:

dorkilybeautiful:

justice-turtle:

laughingfish:

nugdiscourse:

xxx

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS AN EMERGENCY

That bit about “belongs to the legislative branch” – if that passes as it stands, it sets precedent to ignore Roe v Wade, to ignore gay marriage, to ignore Brown v Board of Education. Every fucking advance we’ve made in the last sixty years has come through the Supreme Court first.

It is *absolutely* deliberate that this is attached to a bill about trans rights, because that gives them the maximum “oh well that doesn’t affect me” safety from progressive activists as well as the maximum “yeah fuck those tr*nnies back to hell” coverage from conservatives. Very few cis people give a shit about trans rights, and a LOT of cis people care a hell of a lot about hurting trans people.

This is where TWEFs kill feminism. You don’t get up in arms against this bill, you lose your birth control, your reproductive freedom, your right to work, everything. But hating trans women is more important.

I was going to point out that the DOJ’s opinion the same night as the trans ban has a similar effect, but just comes from law enforcement, but holy shit, this is worse than I thought. 

FINALLY someone is talking about this online, I’ve been sharing and sharing on every social media but the only thing people have picked up is all the transgender troops stuff.

If you see this, REBLOG THIS, please. They’re literally trying to remove our civil rights.

I know this isn’t on theme but this is important!

This has nothing to do with rpgideas but this is too important to ignore.

Y'ALL LOOK AT THIS

Y'ALL NEED TO LOOK AT THIS!

I’m… Really unsettled. Like deeply. So much so that I didn’t feel comfortable presenting as male today like I usually do. I have friends, boyfriends who identify as trans like me. We’re not even 18 yet, and I know so many more wonderful trans people who are older and wiser. Fuck. This is what finally did the job to get to me. Fuck. Fuck.
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williamsherlockscottyyholmes:

My grandparents left their home country as children when they heard the whispering of antisemitism starting in their home town. They got out and fled to America so I and future generations could be safe from persecution and mass murder. Only 2 generations ago.

And now America is becoming that country that they probably would have fled.

If you are not resisting, you are part of the problem.

And yes, I want non-Jews to reblog
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goblincourse:

shamelesslyunladylike:

aohkii:

also like totally not excited for the oncoming “boys can wear makeup and not be gay” garbage just as we had to experience “girls can have shaved heads and wear flannel and not be lesbians” like who gives a fuck if someone assumes you’re gay like its the worst fucking offense in history lmao 

Also, people look gay on purpose so other gay people can find them. Straight girls were jealous of our practical, comfortable AND sexy style, so they stole it, called it “boyfriend” and now they get super pissy because some unaware girl lesbian-nodded at them.

If you choose to dress in stuff traditionally associated with gay people and a gay person mistakes you for one of us, that’s on you, and you don’t get to feel offended. You are the fucker who’s jamming our gaydar on purpose. Suck it up.

Straight people stole our culture and fashion and also got all the credit for it lol
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via http://ift.tt/2xeIKPE:‘This is crazy,’ sobs Utah hospital nurse as cop roughs her up, arrests her for doing her job:

librarienne:

This nonsense is why my Intro to Library Science class had an entire day dedicated to learning about different kinds of search warrants and dealing with police officers. Police officers will always try to muscle or manipulate you into giving them information that they know requires a warrant. I’m so proud of Nurse Alex Wubbels for standing her ground.
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postcardsfromspace:

orchidbreezefc:

dryadgurrl:

cykelops:

- vampires vs xmen
- god damn it where is [insert xmen]
- youre a better leader. no youre a better leader. no youre a better leader. no youre a b
- someone dies
- someone comes back to life
- THE XMEN GO TO SPACE
- magneto is in the yard and wont leave

- Time for the annual kidnapping (either Mags and Charlie or Sabretooth and Logan, occasionally others)
- House blowing up builds character
- Put that thing back where it came from or so help me

-i came back from the future because you need to stop

-your best friend turns out to be mystique

-hey look some new x kids, time to ignore the ones we already had for the rest of *checks watch* forever

-the x men are DISBANDED!!!!!

-alternate universe babies

-your best friend turns out to be a clone/xorn/psychic projection

-well i guess it was Mr. Sinister all along

-fuck the Summers family

-no seriously fuck the Summers family

-i quit the x-men but normal life sucks

-just like the last time but i guess kind of grittier

-fuck the Summers family… IN SPACE

-wellp i guess Charles faked his own death again

-goddamnit Hank don’t put that there
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jumpingjacktrash:

scifi-flyby:

our ability to belt out one entire three to five minute long song if we’re familiar with it like. suvi starts singing “hallelujah” to fill the quiet and is answered by liam all across the room in a p decent harmony. cora walks past and starts humming it enthusiastically even tho she can’t stay very long. gil joins in for the third refrain. ryder finishes it off with a passionate solo.

when they look around every alien is staring at them. vetra blinks and knocks her hands together. “that’s what you’re supposed to do when humans make those sounds right?” she asks kallo beside her, who mirrors her. everyone is a little stunned at the coordination and emotion in the performance and they all look equally moved. jaal might be crying. none of them know what a ‘hallelujah’ is, but they feel like they’ve come to understand it through this melody

they’re all extremely confused when all of the humans still continue on on their tasks without pause

edit; other songs include but are not limited to: bohemian rhapsody, mr. brightside, single ladies, no scrubs, and i will always love you

a good predictor of whether a species will end up being compatible with humans on long journeys is whether they are capable of understanding that ‘singing along’ is optional and humans do it because it’s fun. species that insist on assigning some biological or ceremonial importance to it will inevitably clash with their human crews sooner or later.

whereas species like the mertrans, who have their own infectious expressive behaviors, can integrate with humans indefinitely. on long-haul ships, a sort of hybrid culture evolves, where mertrans will thrum their throat sacs to provide percussion for human singalongs, and humans develop dance steps for mertran scratch/thumping episodes.

smart pirates avoid attacking ships where this has happened. despite being clownish, these species are also some of the most warlike, and offering violence to a closeknit mertran/human group provokes a reaction that is not only well-coordinated and heroic but prone to very bloody pranks.

there still are parts of the outer reaches where a mertran hand-signing “yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker” can clear a bar in seconds.
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Aging process….Book should really moisturise more. #halloween #itsjustabunchofhocuspocus
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femininenachos:

seriesofnonsequiturs:

sorion:

roachpatrol:

joemamainc:

mweerden:

do-i-smell-watermelon:

risingoflights:

thewintersoulja:

frappemako:

the-one-inside:

someottersmarryhedgehogs:

noiselesspatientspider:

iheartuniversecookies:

angelas-extrasandstuff:

I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it’s long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn’t alter any of this. 

….

Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.

Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.

Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.

As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”

Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.

“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.Hilda looked at him expectantly.“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”

At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.

Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.

Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.

Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!

The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.

She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”

But her bed was empty.

Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.

….

DICK

ANEURYSM

GALLOPING ABS

Who told this lady she could write?

Why did she ever stop?

IT GETS WORSE THE FURTHER IN THE PASSAGE YOU GO OMG

i fukcing lost it at meat wand

How could I NOT share this

IS THIS REAL LIFE

If you need some self-confidence in your writing abilities, read this!

Each and every fanfic I have ever read, including even those written by me, are so, so much better than this hahaha

“HER SNOOCH”
“HER CLUNGE”

sandra hill absolutely knew what she was doing, and what she was doing was getting paid by the word while her editor was out sick.

“Galloping abs” is fucking brilliant XD

“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery.“

@gramjams @weasal we need to up our game for the next time we do ‘smut shaming’ for the podcast. Could there be a more glorious sentence in the English language than: ‘Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding’?

*cackling* Oh my goooooooddddddd
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prismcess:

Courtney Act on body image and self-confidence
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