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[personal profile] athousanderrors
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platinum-soul7:

helly-watermelonsmellinfellon:

princettegil:

cllynchauthor:

This is great

How can you tell this from severe anxiety?

Yes! Please, someone answer! I have anxiety and I also fit more than half of each list above and am pretty sure I’m just anxious. Others might not understand either.

Most of these things have to do with Aspergers, which I happen to have, and actually the symptoms are also different between males and females. Also, yes, many of these symptoms are similar to anxiety, OCD, ADHD, and more. In fact, most women with aspergers get diagnosed with multiple disorders before ever being diagnosed with autism, if they ever are. Many autistic people are also victims of various types of anxiety. It’s a common overlap, but I’ll explain some of these things further. The are also varying intensities of symptoms based on the person themself; it is a spectrum, after all.

Warning: long post ahead!

Social:

This first thing is what would be considered “mimicking”, and most girls especially with ASD*/SCD** learn it from a very young age (boys tend to get angry in situations they don’t understand, whereas girls will stay silent and observe until they can recreate).

I do this sooooo much. As in, half the time when I’m thinking, I’m rehearsing possible conversations to prepare any possible responses, especially during work since I’m a server. When someone doesn’t respond as expected, it really puts me off. Another example is that when I was driving home yesterday, I was practicing what I would say to a 911 operator if I got in a horrible car accident and had a pole sticking out of my stomach. I practice how to tell kids to stop running on wet ground. That kind of stuff.

Again, mimicking. Happens with boys, but mostly a girl thing. Putting on a “performance” of being socially adept and constantly having to adapt new “improv” responses just in case so you don’t seem socially abnormal.

I have always had ONLY 2 best friends. 1 or 2 aquaintances/friendlies I might hang out with otherwise.

So, most ASD kids who have grown very good at mimicry are able to get past this to an extent. Ive become good at deciphering jokes from serious conversations, but sometimes things slip past. Just as well, most autistic kids are more logically-minded that emotionally, so aren’t aa good at deciphering emotion in various aspects of social situations. An extreme example would be Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy (“Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast. I’d catch it!”). Some level of that.

*sigh* this can be a big one. In fact, it causes a lot of my road rage, since I live in Florida. People not using turn signals, cutting each other off, etc. I’m a stickler when it comes to cleaning at restaurants as a server, as well. There are rules that seem illogical to me, so I’ll break them, but usually this refers to autistic people who are like Hermione but if instead of going along with Harry and Ron’s adventure, she started screaming at them every time. Not always a big indicator, though.

Behavior:

What they mean is most likely what is also called stimming. An example of one of my most prevalent stimming behaviors is putting my hands close to my chest, similar to a t-pose, and flicking them (just the hands) up and down repetitively. I tend to do it when pacing and thinking, and sometimes when doing things I don’t like/want to do. Could be diagnosed as OCD or mild tourettes. For some it’s not necessarily physical, but vocal (i.e. counting, naming things, etc). Like with anxiety it often occurs in stressing situations, but as I said earlier it can also occur during any kind stimulation, including mental. It allows the person to focus a little easier with a familiar physical movement or vocal cue.

This one can easily be misdiagnosed into bipolar disorder. I have actually been made fun of at jobs for crying when overstimulated at work (like when we get a sudden rush and I’m hit with 6-9 tables at once and everyone wants attention NOW). I will also get unnecessarily angry if someone leaves the ice scoop in the ice bin, or if it’s clear plastic rather than metal. On the flip side, I didn’t cry at my gpa’s funeral (we were actually really close). I cry at deaths in movies, but not in real life. I cried at Marley & Me, but not when my gma had to put her dog Romeo down. I didn’t love them any less, and I still miss them, but I just didn’t react as one would expect.

Special interests. With boys it’s a lot easier to pick out (i.e. science, cars, math, trains, some autistic boys focus on more “feminine” special interests as well). For many autistic girls it’s less obvious, since they usually end up leaning towards more socially “feminine” interests, though not always (i.e. makeup, theater, music, etc. More obviously autistic girls will go into sciences and math, or more technical types of interests). Tbh mine has always been anime since a young age, but I also have what I refer to as passing interests, where I get super into a subject until it bores me (i.e. baking, music, computers, currently on makeup). It’s a slightly more telling sign.

This can often be misdiagnosed as OCD as well. In more extreme cases, the person will plan the day out to the minute. They will get super upset if something changes even slightly, and have a hard time fixing the rest of the day because their system is ruined. I literally wrote down the schedule I wanted to do things in during my first few cons, and got upset when I couldn’t get to one on time. This isn’t a big issue for me personally, though.

I have routines like this, and it’s also an OCD diagnosis. Some routines are simple ones, like skin care routines. My biggest one is probably my shower routine, and it causes my showers to last a long time (wash hair, condition hair and leave it in, shave in a specific order, wash face once, rinse hair and face, wash face and body with different products, exfoliate face, rinse with wash cloth and hot water, rinse again with cold water). I’m sure I also have others that I can’t think of that are more nonsensical, but when I can’t do it the way I NEED to, I get very upset.

Unfamiliar situations can and will cause anxiety spikes as well as increases in stimming. When I start a new job I need time to adjust to the new environment, so I’ll end up staying later after my shift to watch and observe to get my feet under me. I’ll also get lost easily because of the unfamiliarity, but it’s a minor problem for me. More extreme cases eobs be where the autistic person will absolutely REFUSE to enter a space they haven’t had time to “scope out” extensively, or simply haven’t been to before.

Sensory:

Picky eater thing is HUGE. I’m not as picky as I was as a child, but i’m still relatively picky. I can’t eat anything that smells even a little “off” to me. I can’t eat mushrooms or raw onions. I abhor the veggie burgers and hotdogs my roommates love, and I will pick an entire casserole apart to pick out the extremely fine diced pieces. I can’t eat applesauce, grits, oatmeal, or anything with that kind of texture. I can’t eat granola. I can’t eat a dolce de leche cake or any “wet” cake, and I don’t like flan. Coconut makes me wanna gag. I can’t eat spicy anything. Avocado texture weird me out, but I will eat it in a wrap or poke bowl. I don’t like skins on foods (apples, potatoes, peaches, etc.) And I used to peel the skins off of grapes and refuse to eat peas because of the “skins”. Honestly, texture is a huge thing for me.

I never liked being touched when I was little, but I’ve gotten better. Noises are especially big for most autistic people, me included. It has a lot to do with SPDs***. Loud noises are usually unexpected, so we simply aren’t prepared for them. They make us jump and potentially spike our anxiety. Even bringing the dish tub back to the dish pit at work bothers me because of the dishes clinking. I jump when people drop things, or if I drop things. Fire drills freaked me the fuck out during school. I used to try to run away from the school bus to try to get as far away as I could because the pressurized air it would let out when parking or shifting gears or whatever would scare the shit out of me and I hated the sound.

I don’t really do this, but I’m sure some do. It’s probably something to do with the pressure of the squeeze, keeping them grounded or allowing them to focus on that rather than on whatever is upsetting them. I usually cuddle with an animal or a close relative when I’m upset, so it might be similar.

This is something a little similar to stimming, but more so done with a lack of stimulation. I will tap pens or play with my hair, or rub something silky when bored (I pride myself in my soft hair because it allows me to always have something silky to touch when bored). I used to chew my nails when bored, or pen caps. I’ve broken myself of that habit, fortunately.

This is a huge issue for me. Most people, in a somewhat loud room, are able to focus on someone and be able to maintain conversation because they can somewhat tune other sounds out to an extent. I can’t. In a loud room, no matter how loud you scream right in my ear, my brain can’t pick it out from the surrounding noise. During the “yanny or laurel” thing, I heard both every time, no exception. I’m definitely not an auditory learner either. I’m also extremely light sensitive. Small black on white text will cause my eyes to not focus after a while, and the white bg will literally bleed over the text and erase it. It caused problems when I had to take notes off of powerpoints during school, and some rides at Disney have visual screens where my eyes literally can’t focus at all. Headlights and even stop lights at night can often take over my entire vision and I won’t be able to see the road. I don’t like driving at night.

I have insomnia. It’s not uncommon among autistic people. My mind is often simply too active, and it causes me to have to stim, which is the opposite of settling down to sleep.

Communication:

I hate eye contact. I never know how long to hold it, or when I should be doing it, and it generally feels uncomfortable. It’s supposed to give clues with meanings and whatnot during conversations, but I can never decipher anything. In books you read about people showing their emotions in their eyes, or smiles not reaching someone’s eyes. For autistic people, we just can’t tell. No amount of mimicry helps. We can barely tell our own emotions apart, yet we’re expected to interpret yours through eye contact? Not gonna happen, stop staring.

This often goes into ADD/ADHD diagnoses. Sometimes we get distracted during a conversation and by the time we come back we have no idea what’s being said. Sometimes the conversation switches to something we have no interest in so we can’t follow at all (celebrities and sports especially for me). Sometimes people are jumping from points and making connections that are normal in society, but we don’t quite get something and will dwell on that. Sometimes we have something to say on a previous topic and are trying to figure out a way to bring it back rather than paying attention. Sometimes the participants are talking too fast or soft/loud and our ears just can’t decipher it. Too many potential factors go into this.

The next 2 I’m lumping into 1. Basically, this goes back to the Drax thing from earlier with seeing the world in black and white. We generally don’t instinctively tell apart emotions in social interactions outside of what is said, including eye contact and general tone of voice. We can learn and mimic, but things can slip past. I have 3 older sisters and had to learn sarcasm fast, but sometimes someone might get me. I might end up taking a joke or tease seriously if it focuses on something I’m a little insecure about. Usually I can tell they’re teasing, but sometimes it might get to me and they have to explain and convince me that they really were teasing. Conversely, sometimes we might take jokes or teases too far, or we might sound serious because we aren’t as good at modulating our tone to convey our joking manner. Some are better than others.

When talking over the phone, we can’t rely on facial expressions or hand gestures to decipher meaning, and we aren’t good with tone of voice. We also can’t prepare our responses and have to focus extra hard on our tone and letting the other person know we’re listening, which can come across as insincere or distracted. With text, not only can we prepare our responses without pressure, the other person has to actually put what they mean into words so we don’t have to play detective. The conversation becomes more black and white, and we don’t have to focus on conversational cues to relay points of conversation and topics, nor do we have to go through pointless chitchat. “I need a ride” is easier to interpret than “hey, uh, so I lost my card, and my other friend left already. I have no cash on me, and my data is used up.” “Ok?” “It’s like 5min away, and I could really use the help.” “What help?” “Dude, can you come get me?” “Why didn’t you just say that?”. There’s less beating around the bush with texting.

This also goes into the thinking logically thing, and got me in a lot of trouble with a former bff. For me, my issue has always been correcting false facts or issues with spelling/grammar. I would do that to this friend, and she hated it but never told me (again, we’re bad at interpreting shit with emotions, ok?). I also don’t lie very much when it comes to things I like, so if I don’t like what someone is wearing my first instinct is to tell them. This is the case with most autistic kids. If we dont think your lipstick matches your skin, we’ll tell you. Your pants are sagging? We’ll recommend places with better fitting pants. If someone is drawing, we’re the first to point out issues with proportion or shading/coloring. Our first instinct isn’t to cater to emotions, but get the facts out in an attempt to potentially help in some way. We can learn to stop blurting out these things, but sometimes they escape our lips anyways, and while we know it might hurt your feelings, we don’t quite understand why when whatever it is just doesn’t seem to work with your coloring or body type or what you’re writing/drawing. Think Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, kinda.

Many of these signs can also be symptoms of other disorders, but it’s the combination and specifics of them that make the difference, as well as the factors that go into them. Again, since autism is a spectrum, the severity of the signs vary from person to person, and there are also many, many other signs of the disorder, but these are more common ones. There are also different signs for girls and boys on the spectrum, especially when it comes to mimicking, which is why the most prevalent cases that are “high fuctioning” (verbal, basically) are males, because high functioning girls usually (not always) learn to adapt early on, particularly girls with aspergers. In fact, most women with SCD go undiagnosed long into adulthood, if ever, and often end up with ADD/ADHD, OCD, anxiety, and sometimes mild tourette’s diagnoses. Tony Attwood has published many books on Asperger’s/SCD, and there are tons of sources for other forms of autism on the spectrum if any of you want to look into them.

*ASD stands for Autism Spectrum Disorder. Exactly as it sounds, pretty much anyone on the spectrum. Divided between high and low functioning (verbal or nonverbal, basically).

**SCD stands for Social Communication Disorder. It’s a name that is trying to replace Asperger’s Syndrom, because Dr.Asperger was actually a really terrible person that sent disabled children to Nazi euthanasia centers.

***SPD stands for Sensory Processing Disorder, which is when someone’s brain has issues handling the outside information input through the senses and processing it properly, like the name implies.

Sorry for the super long post, and I hope this helps!
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athousanderrors: from 'Spirited Away' - soot sprites, clutching confetti stars, running about excitedly. (Default)
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