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team-lionheart7:
momnar:
roachpatrol:
one of the nice things about heterosexuals i never see talked about on here is that they haven’t already heard all your gay jokes yet. i just really appreciate having a new audience sometimes for my completely automatic responses to phrases like ‘i’ll be straight with you’. so, shoutout to all the innocent hets out there who have a genuine giggle over lame quips that a fellow queer would groan and hit me for. ilu guys.
I recently no scoped my coworker when she asked me “What’s in the closet, anyway?” and I automatically said “me”. She lost her mind. Full cackling in the middle of the store. I never thought I’d see the day that joke would work but here I was, blessed with an unexperienced heterosexual. It was transcendent.
I once had a girl working on a display where I work, and she commented, “I thought this would be straighter when I got done with it.” And I said, “my mother thought the same thing about me”, and everyone around us lost it. It was a blessed moment.
A tiler came over to do some work in our bathroom, and remarked on the fact that the floor and walls all sloped in different directions. Without missing a beat, I replied, “Yeah, the only straight thing in this flat is him,” pointing at my flatmate. Who promptly died laughing, followed by the slightly shocked tiler.
(Your picture was not posted)
team-lionheart7:
momnar:
roachpatrol:
one of the nice things about heterosexuals i never see talked about on here is that they haven’t already heard all your gay jokes yet. i just really appreciate having a new audience sometimes for my completely automatic responses to phrases like ‘i’ll be straight with you’. so, shoutout to all the innocent hets out there who have a genuine giggle over lame quips that a fellow queer would groan and hit me for. ilu guys.
I recently no scoped my coworker when she asked me “What’s in the closet, anyway?” and I automatically said “me”. She lost her mind. Full cackling in the middle of the store. I never thought I’d see the day that joke would work but here I was, blessed with an unexperienced heterosexual. It was transcendent.
I once had a girl working on a display where I work, and she commented, “I thought this would be straighter when I got done with it.” And I said, “my mother thought the same thing about me”, and everyone around us lost it. It was a blessed moment.
A tiler came over to do some work in our bathroom, and remarked on the fact that the floor and walls all sloped in different directions. Without missing a beat, I replied, “Yeah, the only straight thing in this flat is him,” pointing at my flatmate. Who promptly died laughing, followed by the slightly shocked tiler.
(Your picture was not posted)
