modern magic aus

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figmentedfollies:

shittyaus:

i really want us to get along and i invite you over to my apartment after i had spent hours hiding away all my strange plants and potions and fancy magical rocks and moving star charts and kick my cat familiar out for a day. Everything looks incredibly normal and non-magic and things are going great until i see u accidently touch a thing i forgot to put away THAT YOU ARE NOT TO MEANT TO TOUCH 

i get a cold and when im sick i really can’t be around non-magic people but u show up at my door and i try to shoo u away but u come in and see my apartment but tomy relief u think i’m just really into weird crap, but then my cat starts talking and u notice some of my furniture are walking around the house and u swore u saw that house plant wave at you

you’re always finding weird trinkets in your clothes such as colourful feathers, smooth rocks, glinting scales or peculiar miniature marble carvings and you don’t know where they’re coming from but they’re actually good luck charms that i slip into pockets 

whenever we touch im so nervous and i cant keep my magic in check and i slip up so whenever ur hand brushes mine for a brief moment you see spirits/ghosts or light bulb bursts or door slams open and i’m so sorry cause now you think i’m haunted or something

my kitchen’s a mess and inside a fridge is a mixture of drinks, food, potions and potion ingredients and u drink what you thought was some weird cordial and now you’re having a 24hr out of sense experience and you’re seeing and saying really delusional crap and i have to keep you here overnight so you don’t die

lokihiddleston: So, she kissed him passionately, and put her...

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lokihiddleston:

So, she kissed him passionately, and put her arms around him; and she felt his response. He wanted her as much. No, more. As in his workroom, their passion ignited. Seemingly oblivious to his scorched and bandaged hand, he pushed her onto her back and undid his trousers, snaking them down to avail himself of her body; she opened herself to him and then he was thrusting into her. ‘—Finally, finally—’ and the pleasure was indescribable. ‘Oh my Thomas, my love—’

They were one. Finally making love. And as bliss lifted her up to the stars, she believed that all would be well. They would love, and they would live. - Crimson Peak (book)

My Classical Mythology Professor

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booksarebetterthanpeople:

“Hephaestus is really great. I mean, he only ever really does that one little thing of molesting his newly born sister, but other than that he’s cool.”

“Apollo’s just a sociopath, and a loser version of Zeus, really.”

“So either Helen falls in love with Paris, which she doesn’t want to do, or Aphrodite ships her off to Egypt to get a master’s degree in pharmacology.”

“Whenever Achilles had a problem, he’d just run home crying to his mom. His mom always had the same advice: stop fighting, eat, have sex with a woman. He only ever did the first thing, which is probably why he got killed.”

“Basically, Apollo got mad at a bunch of people for not having sex with him and they ended up worse off - mostly turned into plants, for some reason.”

“Cassandra turned Apollo down since she held a vow of chastity, but of course Apollo took it personally and cursed her.”

“You can always pick out Odysseus in pictures ‘cause he’s always wearing a stupid little hat.”

“The gods tend to have these conflicting powers or personality types. Ares, super feared by mortals and always bloody and angry, is basically the fool of the gods. Zeus, almighty king of the gods, is completely helpless when it comes to his libido.”

“So Brad Pitt spends nine years in the harem - you’ve all seen 300 right? I always picture Achilles as Brad Pitt now. Anyway, Brad Pitt’s in the harem, bored out of his mind for 9 years cause he’s already been trained for hero stuff at Chiron’s hero academy…”

“So Orlando Bloom is just moping in his room while the Greeks are camping outside of Troy, and Hector finds him and is like, ‘Come on, Paris, this whole war is because of you!’”

“Have you all seen the Disney version of Hercules, where Hades is super evil and angry? Yeah, that’s not really right. Hades was more like the weird, basically harmless brother of Poseidon and Zeus.”

“I love this vase of the Underworld, it really shows the relationship between Hades and Persephone. I mean, Persephone’s standing there like ‘Whip that guy more! Punish him less! Stop slacking!” and Hades’ is just lounging on the chair like, “Darling, how about a roast for dinner?”

“The thing is, Oedipus tried really hard not to kill his father and marry his mother!”

Rapunzel was Raised to Not Show Physical Affection

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thespookyblackconservative:

runningracingdancingchasing:

We’ve all seen that Gothel makes Rapunzel come to her for hugs, but today I realized it goes deeper than that. Gothel doesn’t want Rapunzel showing physical affection unless she has been given specific permission. Opening her arms is that unspoken permission.

For example, towards the beginning, when she’s reminding Gothel that it’s her birthday tomorrow, she grabs her arm in exuberance. Gothel is put out and then pries Rapunzel’s hands off her arm, all the while pretending she doesn’t remember (or care) that her birthday - something Rapunzel is extremely excited about - is fast approaching.

She also uses Rapunzel’s need for physical affection, deliberately taunting and “teaching” her with it by pretending to offer it, then taking it away immediately.

The first bazzilionty times I saw this movie, I always assumed Rapunzel was relieved to see Gothel towards the end of Mother Knows Best just because she was scared.

But now I realize it’s not only because she’s scared, but because Gothel is now giving Rapunzel permission to seek the creature comfort of physical contact that she so desperately needs after the gamut of fear she’s run.

Eugene, on the other hand, starts showing physical affection as soon as he starts feeling any affection for Rapunzel at all. He uses it as a comfort. Yet Rapunzel keeps her hands to herself.

It continues when he gives her the little flag, touching the small of her back in an affectionate way. But her hands (and attention) are full at this moment.

In fact, the first time she realizes she’s touching him, and he’s touching her, and there’s affection and enjoyment buzzing between them, she’s the first to pull away.

She’s alarmed at first, then apologetic and sheepish. Sorry I was touching you, Eugene. And he politely takes a step back, tuned in to her discomfort and giving her a little more space.

But that is why the moment on the boat is so important, and why Rapunzel has the reaction she does.

In taking Rapunzel’s hand, out of the blue (as far as she can tell), it’s sending her a clear message that he feels the same about her that she does about him, and that physical affection is both alright and wanted. That he will seek out her attention in a way Gothel never has. And from this moment on, she touches him often, holding hands for the rest of the song, brushing his hair from his face as he lay dying, and never letting go of his head, even after he’d died in her arms. Not to mention kissing him when he lives again, holding hands on the balcony while they wait for her parents and end-of-movie smooching.

Bruh.