May. 21st, 2017

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neilnevins:

Shoutout to all the forgettable but nice enough girlfriends/boyfriends in romantic comedies who had their marriages CANCELED and had to deal with emotional recovery after assumed months of planning because some former flame or old friend who does quirky shit like collecting their Snapple fact lids came back into their fiancé’s life for two days
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moonshadws:

Dear white people,
Wow. Y’all really trying it.
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everydayechos:

sassy-casasaurus:

dark-haired-hamlet:

flappyfluellen:

autistic-harry-hotspur:

psychojetplane:

earlgraytay:

shredsandpatches:

shakespeareismyjam:

nobodytoldthehorse:

imagine directing a shakespeare play in the style of the last movie/tv show you watched

the suitor scene in merchant of venice done in the style of the voice australia (blind auditions round)

Titus Andronicus hosted by Guy Fieri. (It’s not my fault, my dad is visiting.)

Much Ado About Nothing in the style of We Bare Bears. 

Benedict puts on a powerpoint about how men have at least eight abs and ruins Beatrice’s college project, and Claudio is obsessed with his internet fame.

Hamlet in the style of Blackadder

Henry IV as Parks and Recreation (actually the last thing I watched was Branagh’s Henry V so that’s out)

…don’t I already do that?

adventure time meets hamlet. that’d be hella bizarre but I need it now.

As You Like It in the livingroom sitcom style of Friends!!!!!!! Omg I NEED to stage this.

I just watched The Office. I’d like to see all of Shakespeares work in The Office style.

Brutus: *looks into the camera like he’s in The Office*

I’ve always wanted to do Caesar as a Sopranos style mob feud though

I mean, RuPaul’s Drag Race is almost Shakespearean melodrama anyway…plus boys dressing up as girls…
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acetyleni:

sillyfudgemonkeys:

natrenwal:

renderiot:

watsoniananatomy:

thebigcatblog:

A 22-month-old female scaredy cat tiger appeared to get the shock of her young life when she encountered a dead leaf floating on a pool of water in the Bandhavgarh National Park, India. Clearly unusure about just what was approaching her, the partially submerged youngster’s tail shot up in the air and with teeth bared she let out her most fearsome growl - all in an effort to scare the humble leaf away.

Picture: HERMANN BREHM / NPL / Rex Features

I CAN’T BREATHE

OMFG I AM DYING!

this is like the happiest thing I have encountered in a while

they should form a support group. 

I lost it when I saw the tail, before I even read the comment oh my god

My name is catAnd wen I seeAn unnown thingApproaching mePrepared to fiteI show my teefI growl real loudI scare the leef
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Photo

May. 21st, 2017 12:20 pm
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gingerattack:

Oksana by Sophia Buzakova
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chizsles:

gyey:

sufjanstevens420:

this cat is VERY small and VERY round, 10/10

unbelievble

@nagunkgunk
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oxtrogen:

I want you in my camp with us.
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simkaye:

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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artykyn:

prideling:

gunvolt:

im going to have a stroke

Instead try…Person A: You know… the thingPerson B: The “thing”?Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD

As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:

Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.

Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”

Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.

Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.

Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.

Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.

Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”

Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”
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w1zrad-art:

A short comic about shipping and why I need to stop doing it
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bjornwilde:

drst:

diana-prince:

If you need to stop an asteroid, you call Superman. If you need to solve a mystery, you call Batman. But if you need to end a war, you call Wonder Woman.

Nice.

Can we get more marketing for WW now?
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annilta:

werebearbearbar:

cracked:

Why Everything You Know About Vikings Is A Lie

True story - There are historical accounts (well, there’s at least one historical account) in which English people whine about how the Norse men bathe so often they’re able to seduce the local women away from their husbands.

that’s a good video behind that link, check it out
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churchofpoetry:

bert-and-ernie-are-gay:

Sam Wilson x @ ProBirdRights [insp.]
[from the twitter genius of stuckyparty]

I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. :D
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qbnaith:

atomictiki:

jasoncanty01:

atomictiki:

duchess-of-aquitaine:

realityofroyals:

minimiddletons:

thosedarnwindsors:

morepopcornplease:

aletolover:

wolf-peaches:

deutschemark:

regencyduchess:

Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.

(x)

I’m dead at his face in the last one like “Did you even try?”

And then when he gets pushed he’s like “Wait no let him try!”

his composure is just everything I aspire to be

OMG IT’S BACK!

CHARLES IS THE BEST OMG

Like how he stands there as if, “Okay, I’ll be perfectly still and we’ll see if you can hit me this time. Come on, it is like I’m giving you a head start.” He’s more annoyed with his cuff link than the wanna be assassin.

FOREVER REBLOGGING THIS.

THIS is how you deal with terrorists

Even if you go down you did it with dignity.

You all do know who his mother is right? You know the woman who stayed home during the bombing of London and drove Jeeps in WW2. They are trained to be final boss overlord level composed at age 2.

U don’t fuck with the Queen

His sister, Princess Anne, was the victim of an attempted kidnapping. The guy pointed a gun at her and told her to get out her car. She replied: “Not bloody likely.” And tried to kick him.
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usedtobehmc:

voxmyriad:

bewaretheides315:

thewinterotter:

I’m watching a documentary about rats and this guy is like “they say there’s a rat for every single person in New York City” and I know he’s talking about like population numbers but it kind of sounds like he’s trying to tell everyone in New York that they have an individually assigned rodent friend and I think that’s beautiful.

The next big thing in fandom: Rat Soulmates

Well I’m here, when do I get to meet my Buddy Rat?

As I approached the near-empty parking lot that practically hung out over the Hudson, I took my 78th look at the pamphlet that had arrived on my doorstep yesterday: my 16th birthday.  The pamphlet said, 

Congratulations on the 16th anniversary of your birth.
Please report to:
Rodent Assignment Terminus
#1 13th Avenue
Manhattan, NY 

Honest to God, I had no idea there even was a 13th Avenue on Manhattan but here I was.  After about two minutes of look around, I spotted the ramshackle little kiosk in the corner of the floating block of asphalt and pavement.  It was surrounded by mini traffic cones forming an impromptu runway that led right to the small window carved in the side of the slanted hut.  I knocked on the window sill and waited.

The tiny window slid open and the wizened face of an old lady appeared.  By my rough estimate, she was approximately 170 years old.  “Name?”  She croaked, taking a drag off her cigarette with shriveled lips.  

“Uh… Addison.  Addison Sharpe.”  I held up the pamphlet with my eyebrows up, letting her know I also did not know why I was here.  

The window slammed shut and I heard the bustle and groaning of the old lady getting up out of her seat.  

To my surprise, she appeared outside the kiosk with a metal wire hanger-looking device with a hook hammered into the end.  She shuffled three feet to a tiny, manhole cover and slipped the hook through one of its holes.  I rushed forward to offer to do it myself but to my utter shock, she lifted the manhole up and to the side with no more effort than it took her to slam the small window of her kiosk.  She removed her cigarette with one hand and cupped her mouth with the other.  “Addison Sharpe!”

A low, unholy sound emerged from the depths of the hole in the ground.  It sounded like 8 million chairs squeaking across a poorly-waxed floor.  It sounded like 32 million claws clicking and clacking their way across a cement car port.  It sounded like the asthmatic breathing of a mass of nightmares.  It got closer… and closer to the top of the hole.

A single rat, about the size of a small chiuahua, emerged from the hole.

“Look, he got dressed up for you,” the old lady wheezed affectionately, and casually moved the manhole cover back into place.

The rat in question appeared to have a pink bow on his head, stuck there with what I can only assume (and hope) was gum.  He regarded me, whiskers twitching, beady eyes staring. 

“I like your bow,” I offered.

The rat hobbled towards me, latching onto my pant leg with sharp little claws and climbing until he reached my hoodie pocket, where he settled with a decisive sigh.  

I turned to thank the old lady, but she slammed the door of the kiosk in my face.
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jun0steel:

Do you just sit and listen? Draw? Do chores?? I’m curious to what everyone else does. I for one do origami or just sit there and listen it depends on my mood. What about y'all???

commute, make dinner, fold laundry, or knit. Knitting’s a really good one. 
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GNU Terry Pratchett
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shesnake:

Grace Kelly in Rear Window (1954)
Costume design by Edith Head
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